You Chose Me

this song was inspired by a close friend's story...


I WAS BROKEN, TIRED...LIVING MY LIFE
MINUTE BY MINUTE
I WAS SEARCHING, YEARNING, LOOKING FOR PURPOSE
MINUTE BY MINUTE


I WAS AFRAID, THE CHAINS OF MY SINS
WERE TRAPPING ME IN
I COULDN'T BREATHE

I HEARD YOUR VOICE, SWEET CRYSTAL CLEAR
I SAW YOUR HANDS, OFFERING LOVE...

YOU CHOSE ME TO LIVE
I'M PART OF YOUR PLAN
HONORED I AM...YOU GAVE ME FREEDOM
LORD I LOVE TO BE YOUR CHILD
LOVE TO BE YOUR CHILD

THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME...
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME...
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME.

I WAS HURTING, ANXIOUS, LIVING MY LIFE
MINUTE BY MINUTE
I WAS HUNGRY, THIRSTY, BELIEVING THE LIES
OF THIS WORLD...


I WAS AFRAID, THE CHAINS OF MY SINS
WERE TRAPPING ME IN
I COULDN'T BREATHE

I HEARD YOUR VOICE, SWEET CRYSTAL CLEAR
I SAW YOUR HANDS, OFFERING LOVE...

YOU CHOSE ME TO LIVE
I'M PART OF YOUR PLAN
HONORED I AM...YOU GAVE ME FREEDOM
LORD I LOVE TO BE YOUR CHILD
LOVE TO BE YOUR CHILD

THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME...
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME...
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME.

The Cure for Anxiety

Ok...so I'm not about to make up some fony-balony-cure thing...none of that...don't worry.

Just want to direct you to Matthew Chaper 6:25- 34.

Read it. ...
......then come back and read this post.

****************************************************************************

So a friend kinda stopped me in the middle of my cRaZy-HecKtIk-SuPpeR-BuIsy-ExTrA-sTreSsful-MoMent....(I'm trying to overwhelm you...so you get the point here...)
...told me to stop what I'm doing and go read Matthew 6:25-34.
The moment I oppened my Bible to that spot, all I could see was "The Cure for Anxiety"...( maybe your Bible has that as well, where there is a subheading before each new thought...)
N-E-Waiz...reading along, now supper eager to find out what this "cure" was...(geez...what was I expecting...lol..) and only to find out that it's not a new passage from the Bible, read it before, so what, big deal right...? NOT...
I read it, and re-read parts of it...and ZAPPP!!!...miracle "cure"...my anxiety gone!!!! (ok...not that kinda zapp...and not all gone just like that...hehe, messing with you guys here a little...give me a break. it's late.)

What I figured, (God's Word showed me I should say) ...was that I was worrying too much about the tomorrow that may never come.
Verse 34 stood out the most.
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NASB )

Often times we overwhelm ourselves with worries; gotta do this, and that, and make this appointment next week and not miss that one, call this person and e-mail another one, homework, college, church, friends, family, blah blah blah blah...it goes on and on and on....AND ON...un-ending cycle at times, and all we really need is to be reminded of Matthew 6:34.

"Do not worry about tomorrow"
"Tomorrow will care for itself"
"Each day had enough trouble of its own"...

I am not by any means trying to take this verse out of context. at all. just applying it to my life, and hope you do too...think about it this way...
Just take it one day at a time. If you read the passage, you see how the example of the birds and the lilies relates. Amazing. God is Amazing!

We just have to bring our worries/troubles/problems/etc. to HIM. and Trust HIM to take care of us.

If I left something out...fill it in in the comments area. God Bless you guys. and seriously....can we just stop the worrying already?! lol..

*Also, I am not calling you to live your life like a bum, or couch potatoe..No no...making plans and having goals in your life that you strive to achieve is a good thing...worrying about little things toooo much on the other hand is not.

*To that person who remined me what the cure for anxiety is...thank you. May God Bless.

Nice To Meet You

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2)

So I met this great person randomly on valentine's day. hahaha no this aint a love story!

Nonetheless, God has shown me what it means to love someone as a person, and for that reason alone, share: the Truth, God's Marvelous unconditional Love for us and His gift of forgiveness/salvation!

One great moment in our conversation that will forever stay with is when he shared his personal thoughts/new experiences with me..one of them, for example:

If there is a situation in your life where things get out of hand, or not by the plan, or just go downhill...let's say the husband takes the wife's car to get smogged, and the car doesn't have the necessary paperwork in it when the husband specifically noted to the wife that he is taking the car...how would you react in his shoes? It wouldn't surprise me if you would feel annoyed that the wife didn't prepare the vehicle...or that she is disorganized, or if you feel upset/outraged even, that you need to drive ALL the way back home to get those papers--only to drive back and find out they close in 20 minutes and it cannot be done that day. Generally, if you are either annoyed, mad, upset, outraged...you would be understood.

But wait! my new friend tells me,
instead of finding blame in a situation like that...just ANALYZE IT! Yes, the situation may have gone bad...INSTEAD think to yourself: what could I HAVE DONE to make this better or to prevent this? maybe I could have reminded my wife an hour before going...maybe I could have checked for the paperwork to be in the care before driving off...maybe I could have called to know the hours they are open before making my trip back!!

WHAT A POSITIVE OUTLOOK!!!!!! i thought to myself.

This was a great tool I learned today and I hope I will utilize it in all my upside down moments in life. Its great because in ANY circumstance, this can be applied because, as long as you are a part of it, YOU could have influenced it, and since it didnt go perfect....just analyze.

and Again,in basic english: And let not your behaviour be like that of this world, but be changed and made new in mind, so that by experience you may have knowledge of the good and pleasing and complete purpose of God.
(Romans 12:2)

"...seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you..."

" But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Luke 12:31 (King James Version)

We have all heard and read this verse in the Bible at least once. If you havent, congradulations! you just did. Often times when people are addressed about a specific issues/thought/ idea...whatever it may be...in a large group or in a general public, they are not as deep and meaningful as when they are pointed out specifically to you...meaning one on one...directly refered to you...pointed out more clearly...ye I can go on, but I think you get the point...
Those of you who know me more personally and know what has been on my heart for the loooooooooooooooongest time...yeah...I mean long...the worries that just seem to come and go, the conffusion, the uncertainty, just this BIG issue that has been dragging me down...which didn't seem to go away...well (1st of all thank you sooo much to those who prayed)...I know I talked a lot about it, and maybe even to the point of making some of you sick! (not to mention any names..hmmmm...) well that was honestly because it was bothering me soo much that it was all I could think off.

One day I was out with a few close friends, and I was once again...addressing my issue to them for the bizillionth time, and I was basically explaining to them how I saw myself in these situations. I pictured it this way: There was me...and there was this straight pathway up towards God...but around me there were all these little things that surrounded me...these little things added up to being this one big weight on my shoulder that didn't let me focus on the straight pathway up...my relationship with God...I thought (for some reason) that in order for the pathway between me and God to be clear and working properly (if I can say it that way) all these little things around me needed to be cleared up...all these little issue needed to be solved, all them needed to be addressed, analyzed, thought throught, analyzed some more...BIG desicions needed to be made, MAJOR changes, ...and only then...finally...when all the little things were solved, then I can start focusing on my direct pathway with God...
Well, God looking down upon my situation and probably chukling at my childish way of thinking, knew exactly what words to put in my frined's hearts to change my outlook...one of them pointed out that maybe I was going about things in the different order...she said that maybe instead of focusing on all the little things around me, I need to just focus on the straigth up relationship with God...(the BIG thing) and all the little things will fall into place.
Well...that thought rang through my mind really sharp (even though i didn't say so at the time...(thanx hun)) ...and just in continuing my everyday life trying to clear up the little things...God worked in my heart. ..Immediately the verse that pops into my head throughout this while situation is the verse quoted at the top of this page...

God really has HIS wonderful ways of having all things work together for a greater good, and that is exactly what is happening with me now.
I now understand on a more deeper level that going out of order, will not solve anything but make things more conffusing...i was worried too much about the things that would mean nothing if God was out of the picture...
Instead of seeking HIS Kingdom, and trying to work out that relationship first, I was seeking the other things that are secondhand...my order was off and that threw off everything. you see, in my little diagram that i was sharring with my friends, I was in the ceter, God was straight above, and all the 'little things' were all around me...see the resemblence...me, I, me, I, me, I...I..I..me...(i should lowecase the i's cuz i'm feeling shamed)...but what I did, was place everything out of order...I put myself in the center and worked my way out...when what I really needed to do was allow GOD to be the center of all like it is in reallity, and work my way IN. i am in the outside, i am the little problem that needs working to be solved, i cause my own worries and stress...because I didn't see things in the right perspective. ..
I know this is long and probably hurting your eyes to read like it's hurting mine to type this at this time (please don't judge me for it...I just have to get this out before I explode with these feelings)...but I'm comming to a close here...bare with me...(right now I can totaly understand the preechers that go over their time limmit...hehe)

...just read this verse again...

"But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you."

It didn't happen over night, and it took many different people and preechers /speakers/conferences/ church services/ friends/ prayers/... for me to realize where I went wrong...a big part of that was this past youth service..(All Glory to God for it)..but basically it was all pointing me in the direction of seeking God, seeking HIS kingdom, HIS Glory, HIS prescence, HIS purpose, HIS plans for me...and after reallizing all of this...it was like that verse was written SPECIFICALLY to me...not just to the public, the general crowd, but individually to me...speaking to my heart..."Natasha...seek the Kingdom of God first"....
...and even thought the second half of that verse is still not clear, and all the little things are far yet not solved, and there are still plenty of questions and concerns and worries, ...I feel so relieved and energized...I got this passion back again to honestly and deeply from the bottom of my heart...to seek HIS Kingdom...to seek GOD...and just allow HIM to take care of the second part. and you know...whatever it may be...those other things that will be added, i'm sure GOD has that set straight, planned out, mapped out, and diagramed for me already...(such a relief...because if it were me doing the diagrams...like i mentioned...i'd be the one in the center...

...To those of you who know exactly what battle i'm talking about, i'm pretty confident it is now solved. But God has HIS ways, and HIS plans go above my own. At anny moment things may change, but if they do...i will know it is for the greater good...and not for my own purposes.

I truly believe, that God allows us to stumble at times, so that we can learn from our mistakes...because once we go through them ourselves...things become so much more personal and specific towards us. This verse has so much more value to me personally now, even though it should have always...

Just want to say that God really has HIS wonderous ways.... and wish for all of you reading this..." seek the kingdom of God..."