Embracing Modesty

I am disgusted at the way today's society portrays women. Clothing designers are putting less and less pieces of material on their models and define that as clothing. Bill boards for Victoria's Secret with revealing lingerie make us (those of us who do have a consciousness and a sense of embarassment) to quickly pull up our shirts and walk with averted eyes. Things that were once private (and should remain private) are now public and blown up by the size of television screens and billboards. Not to mention idolized by many women of this world. Therefore, it is safe for me to say that immodesty is right in our face and it's getting ugly!

Are you disgusted as I am? Are you seeking to dress more modestly? Did someone remark on how immodest your clothing is and you never thought what you were wearing was a big deal before they made a comment? Either way my hope and prayer is that this post will give you as a lady some tools for better insight into knowing and judging for yourself what is modest and appropriate to wear.

First of all, you have to personally understand the value of modesty. It is not hard to determine by today's society that modesty has become very rare. Almost extinct like the dinosaurs. We see and dig through racks upon racks of clothing and know in our hearts that these tube tops, mini skirts, tight fitting jeans and sleeveless dresses that barely touch thigh are in no way fit to be modest. Modesty has become very expensive time-wise (it takes forever to find a decent modest clothing item) and money-wise (you have to do extra alterations by adding sleeves and covering the front and the back of a dress or shirt). Nevertheless, my point is we are in no way to be discouraged about the cost of modesty because modesty is a rare gem with a high price. In other words, if you are a woman of God and an amazing example of modesty, you are glorifying God in your body and soul and in His eyes you are precious. For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 Corinthians 6:20

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 A woman who fears the Lord will not dress in a suggestive manner and will do her best not to attract prying eyes and sinful thoughts of men around her. She will know that there are men who struggle with sinful thoughts and lust and she will make sure that she will not be the main cause of these weaknesses.

I myself am not a perfect image of modesty, but I learned that when you strive to be a Godly, modest woman you trully become a blessing to others (especially to men) around you. I gathered the following information from talking with other young men and my father and brother. Therefore I would like to give you an overview of what would be considered immodest/modest.

Skirts

When trying on skirts, I don't just stand there admiring it. I have to move around in it.

-When walking, I make sure that there are no undergarment outlines (this is an issue if the material is very stretchy). If there are any outlines: it is immodest! It is the same thing as wearing your undergarment outside of your clothes!

-While walking, your skirt should not stretch out and accentuate your bottom and hips. If it does, it is immodest! I cannot emphasize enough how much these body parts catch the guy's attention

-I would generally suggest to stay away from slits/openings on the bottom of skirts (when the skirt is below the knee), but if need be they can always be sewn together to a comfortable length if they are very long. These slits seem ok when standing but when you begin to walk or climb stairs...immodest!

- Pencil skirts which are straight from the waist down can be immodest. If you are a lady with curves, buy several sizes larger because when you walk or sit down these skirts stick to your body form like cellophane wrap and show your hips and bottom very much. This is immodest!Try to buy skirts that have some flow at the bottom hem (they are comfortably narrow at the waistline and gradually widen in an A form). They take the attention off the hips and bottom and add some feminine swish to your step! ;) Not to mention, most A-line skirts don't have slits at the back. So climb all the stairs you want and walk at a comfortable step with no problem.

-Finally, I would sit down and see if I will be showing any knees or upper thighs. If your skirt goes up when you sit down and you are showing knees and upper thigh, it's immodest! These parts of your body are not to be shown or seen by anyone! The higher the skirt is above the knee, the more you are suggesting something along the lines of easy virtue. If you are not in the "business" don't advertise (I heard a preacher say this!!!).

Tops/Dresses

-A top that has a deep cut neckline is immodest. I honestly feel uncomfortable talking to a girl who has a plunging neckline and I cringe at her carelesness. A low cut top needs to be layered with an undershirt. Otherwise when you fold your arms or bend down...well you got the picture. Besides, you want people to look into your face when you are talking, and not down there. Also tugging on your neckline will attract even more attention if you are doing it repeatedly.

-See through tops and dresses are immodest!!! It is the same thing as a sleeveless, strapless top or dress!

-Dresses that are strapless, spaghetti strap, or halter are all immodest. They are sewn specifically to accentuate a woman's body regions in the most sexually suggestive manner.

Pants

-Pants really lack modesty in many ways. First off, they are designed to fit snugly and therefore hug your curves making them more visible. Secondly they show off a lot when you are walking or running. They may cover your legs all the way, but they still wrap your legs, hips, and bottom like cellophane wrap and they do not cover anything unless paired with a flowy top that reaches below the waist.I know that there's a huge debate about pants and some argue that pants are even more modest than skirts because pants tend to cover more skin than a skirt would. Lets face it, modest skirts are beautiful and feminine and they make you feel like a woman (unlike pants)! Enough said.

Finally, if you are confused on whether something is modest or not, I would solve this dilemma by going against the world's dictations on what is hot and what is not. If the world calls for bare shoulders, open back, and plunging necklines, I will strive to cover my shoulders, back and neckline. If the world rants and raves about how hot their skirts (that you can't even put your foot or hips into) are, you adorn yourself with a beautifully feminine skirt that covers and tucks just at the right places. When the world dares you to flaunt your body, you remember that you are not of this world, and that God has created you in His likeness and you are going to strive for modesty to glorify Him! Go against the world's lies and be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove that what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will, of God. Romans 12:2

You Are Known

And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God..."

Luke 1:30

...let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:31

(Boaz to Ruth)...for all my townsmen know that you are a worthy woman...Ruth 3:11

...she (Tabitha) was full of good works and acts of charity...Acts 9:36

Oh how many women of this day and age can be described in such a way? Favorable, praiseworthy, Godly? As a woman, are your works praised at your city's "gates"? How many of women out there who"s dress, actions, words tell people around them that they are trully Godly women? If you were to look into the world's picturesque display of a typical woman in magazines, television, books, it is widely seen how the world favors women. By "favor" I mean how very often television (especially) doesn't fail to draw a picture for us of a slanderous, gossiping woman. Many times it takes one glance at the clothing and the manner itself and you already (as the viewer) get about 99.9% of who the woman really is.

Lets narrow down the woman in the home. How is television (I have to pick on television because it is after all the window to the world...correct me if I'm wrong) show us a typical wife, mother, or daughter? Is it often times positive? Is there conflict in the family? Why? Who sets the mood in the home?

How often do we see modern day Ruth's, Esthers, Mary's, or those who can be described as a proverbs 31 woman? How are we as women known by our family, friends, and the people in the world in general? Can we trully be called Godly, favorable, worthy, etc by the world today?

Are you that precious jewel (Proverbs 31:10) that continues to shine with kindness, patience, wisdom, dilligence, femininity, godliness... ?

I apply these questions first to myself. By reading about the godly women in the bible, I see how much I can learn from Ruth, Esther, Mary, the proverbs 31 woman, Tabitha...etc. I want to be just like these women through their amazing examples. It is trully God's plan to preserve the story's of these women in the Holy Bible for us 21st century women to look upon, read, and trully become those women that God will see as worthy in His eyes.

Interesting guy's perspective about women's dress. This video was made for teen girls 6-12th grade, but I believe it still applies to all ages. Let me know what you think.

Beautiful Modesty

When the topic of clothes (skirt length, sleeve length, size too small) comes up in our church, I immediatly think uh ohhhh. While sitting down I unconsciously pull down on my skirt to cover any showing knees and reach to my neckline to tug up on that too. Wow, I think. These folks REALLY care about how we women dress! And in essence our church leaders really DO care about how we ladies dress (as well as our parents). With all do respect, they are doing us ladies a huge favor believe me!!!

God has made us women (and all people in general) for a purpose: to glorify the Lord in our bodies and souls just like the bible teaches. We are a unique creation beautiful and feminine. We ARE girly, giggling, emotional creatures! We do need that respect, love, and appreciation from those around us. We as women have that certain charm and way of dressing ourselves that really attract those around us.

But sadly, most of the young women today have the mistaken belief that "undressing" themselves will earn them that attention that they deserve.

We see a degrading society where women are just objects to look at and discard. In our brains we think that that's really what can catch a guy's attention, I mean after all, that's what our glossy fashion magazines portray! They portray a woman's outer beauty and overexposed body as the most essential part of a woman. But heyyy... who cares about the inner beauty!! We want to show what can be seen!


Hey ladies?


...Trash that belief!!!

Today we will be talkin about what REALLY attracts a guy... and I WILL cite my sources!!!

I came upon a really handy resource for all young women who are interested in checking it out. This is a modesty survey in which men were asked many questions such as what men think is modest (like jeans, length of skirt, jewelry...etc.) on a young lady. Keep in mind that men of all ages were asked these questions and many said one thing... they are more attracted to a modest woman than a woman who undresses to impress. (survey URL: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse) Also, there is a blog by Christy Taylor who invited a male guestblogger to give women a man's perspective on how men view modest women. http://www.empoweredtraditionalist.com/2008/08/27/what-guys-love-about-modest-girls/.

So often (me included) we forget to ask the question...who am I dressing for? When I walk out of that, door, will I be a stumbling block to other men (married or unmarried)? I have heard from other men, (several actually) that openly admit that it is a temptation when a young lady is overly exposed and especially in a church setting. People come to church to praise the Lord and give Him all the attention, but instead, the attention is on certain young ladies who do not realize that other men around them are being led into temptation and even more led into the sin of lust. We know perfectly well that God does not tolerate these sins. And we aren't even talking about our world outside of church yet ladies!!!

One gentlemen from Christy Taylor's blog writes. “If I could say anything to the women in the church, it would be this. First, there is not a man I know that doesn’t in some way struggle with lust. If they had any idea what went through guys minds it would probably vastly change the way they dress. Secondly, and I think most importantly, God has created his church to be a resting place for Christians, to be a place where people can encounter God with out all the distractions. It is disappointing when I walk into the church or an event with the church and have deal with the same temptations I that face in the world. But I rejoice whenever I see a girl or women who is attempting to serve the lord and guys by dressing modestly. You have no idea how sweet and challenging it is when I see a women who has decided not to flaunt her body like the culture shouts for her to do but rather she has decided that serving the lord and her brothers is more important. Glory to God for women like that! " (What Guys Love About Modest Women, by Christa Taylor)

Another young man says: “You have no idea how much it means to me as a guy when I see girls who are doing their best to be modest. These are girls that I feel completely comfortable being friends with, and by their actions they demand my respect. Modesty will win you the friendship of guys who will care about you as a person and will see you as a sister in Christ before they see you as anything else…” (What Guys Love About Modest Women by Christa Taylor)

And so in my conclusion I would like to say that we as women owe it to the men around us to spare them from temptaion and sinful lust. They have enough to deal with in our sinful society with its provocative fashion.

Also check out this URL about what men love about girls: http://www.empoweredtraditionalist.com/2009/02/24/10-things-guys-love-about-girls-part1/

...do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30