We Can Pretend

My biology professors young daughter begged her father to give her one more piece of candy left over from Easter. Her father questioned her on why would she want ONE more piece when she had already had plenty of the candy. When the father questioned his wife on how much candy their daughter had, he found out that the little girl had already eaten eight pieces of candy. Instead, the father said that maybe its better if they could have a healthier snack such as a yogurt (this was at 9 in the evening). Nevertheless the girl begged for at least a little piece of the PEZ candy (the little candy tablets that come with a collectible dispenser). When her father gave her permission, she took out instead a huge marshmallow size candy. Her father told her that its too big and they had agreed on a small candy. And "besides,"he said, "it's not healthy." His daugher replied "But can't I eat it and pretend that it's healthy?"
Children are the most honest and intelligent little people on the planet if I may say so! Sometimes they can shock us with how much they know. But this is not what I'm here to share about. I just wanted to elaborate a little bit on the topic of pretending.
We are all able to pretend in one way or the other and at times it takes skill to be able to pretend and at the same time convince yourself that what you are pretending is the right thing.
A young successful woman in a Gucci suite and expensive heels walks into her spacious New York private office with a smile plastered on her face, greets her secretary cheerfully and closes the door behind her. No one can see the hurt, turmoil, and frustrations within her, all hidden under expensive clothing and a plastic smile, but she is determined to show that she is in control.
A girl who had just been through an abortion can pretend that now all her worries and fears that had to do with her unplanned baby are gone and in the past. She comes back home, pretending that the tiny life within her was nothing but a mass of tissue and her choice certainly had eliminated her worries of having to confront her furious parents if they had found out she was pregnant.
A Christian individual, who sees the crumbling morals of his society, pretends that it's all okay and he/she could swing by and not exactly confront these issues (for example, same sex marriage, abortion, homosexuality, adultery, lust, murder...etc) and at the same time not offend one or the other person when an issue of sinful nature comes up. By pretending, this person's daily hobby is of putting on his/her Christian mask and blending in with the masses just because it seems right...to pretend.
We pretend that a particular issue in our lives is what it should be. We put on a brave face, stick out our chin and grit our teeth, but we all too often wear ourselves out pretending. You see, pretending doesn't always do us good. Just like eating a bagfull of candy in one sitting and pretending that it is healthy will only earn us a painful, scarred-for-life experience at the dentists. Pretending in front of the children that you and your husband are still in love even though you are both quietly filing for divorce, will cause you to loose your children's trust and respect. Pretending that you are okay when in fact you are in the middle of a war within yourself will earn you quizzical glances of friends/family and eventually a trip to a therapist.
Pretending is a full time job with consequences. A full time job is reality...pretending though...is not.

What Should I Do and Who should I listen to?

Oh the question of God's will....How deep and difficult it is to grasp when a specific situation arises where you long to search for an answer. Sometimes, like this particular time in my life, I truly wish God's will would hit me in the face, plainly and clearly...and I would respond with a "ohhhhhh, ok, got it." Interestingly enough, I haven't been hit with anything other than the wind that is kinda hyper today out here in Sacramento. =)

We all search for a clean cut answer. Life would be so simple if answers for any given circumstance, concern or question were found in the lovely useful good ol' Websters...or Wikipedia (eeek! jk). Maybe life would be simply boring actually. And in search of an answer: whether it be where/when to go to college, what to major in, where should I be active in church, how should I handle this relationship, whom to trust/marry/obey/follow, missionary opportunies...often times we will find a different answer for every person we bring it up to....and the answers may even contradict one another.

Knowing that God can answer our questions....we search for "God's answer" from PEOPLE. Surely His answer wouldnt be on a mountain from a cloud...or miraculously from the mouth of a frog...or you know, what have you....my point is that we may accept answers from people who we trust and consider our closest (or consider close enough to God), that we believe God used as a vessel to provide us with His will. That is a possibility and I have no doubt that God does use preachers/pastors/parents and even children to talk to our hearts in particular.

But notice that God doesnt have a limit to the endless possibilities of opening His will for us...and if we search for His will in a bush, I believe even then, you will find it. you know why? Because God CAN answer you....it depends on how ready you are receive it and where you search.

May I offer a reminder to first myself and all of you dear readers...God's beautful Love Letter to us (BIBLE) has already answered all questions mankind can throw at it. Our Father forsees in every possible situation, specific to your life! Amazing isn't it? No, you will not find: "Judy Smith, this is what God's will is for you" in the Bible....but while you searh in His word, the Holy Spirit will touch your heart and guide you to recognize God's calling/answer for your question. Be encouraged, for through His word, we believe we are called sons and daughters of the King of Kings...Who loved us even before our existence.Whom shall I fear??! Praise Him!

Philippians 4:4-7
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

You are Chosen.

This was written January 2008...it is inspired by a Russian Choir song that has a line "others can...but you can't". I did not make any changes to the content.
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May I take some of your time, just to remind you that...you are the chosen one. If you are still reading, it's safe to assume I have your permission and attention. Maybe you have forgotten, maybe you are here wondering what I mean by that. The chosen one. chosen for whom and for what? So hard to accept a title, knowing there must be responsibilities, rules, deadlines...you see, being the chosen one is a gift, it's free. However, losing the gift is still a possibility. When you hold something special that once was received, you surely show it around proudly, happily, gratefully...so don't dim your light! The light that lives in you, the one and only that was once accepted by you, in your decision to turn away from darkness. You have a gift, the gift of light that people of this world search for constantly. This light that we simply cannot live without.

It is like having a CPR card, or an extra life jacket..in a given situation, you are responsible to take action. Starting with your tongue, when you open your mouth, don't be blended into the worldly conversations of empty judgment, criticism, and meaningless topics. Others can, and will. But you can't. Your mouth should be filled with kindness and wisdom. Fill the air with positive thoughts, encouragement and truth. Don't fill your body and soul with filth, for it is true--it is not what goes in your mouth that will hurt you, but what comes out of it. Let your light shine.

It is like having an extra plate of food and seeing a hungry orphan...in a given situation, you are responsible to take action. When you make excuses not to give to those in need, you are filling up the room of worldly people who are clenching the 5 dollar bill when they could be receiving 500 outside. there are too many who give to poor aunt Betty every Christmas, so they can't give 20 to the hungry. Too many go to Thunder Valley and lose hundreds, but will not give 5 dollars to the man obviously in need. those are quick to make excuses to which many find as valid. Others can, and will. But you can't. The light in you should fill every vein in your body and keep your hands circulated with generosity, love and compassion. Don't think of your own financial problems when you know your stomach has been full, and your pillows are waiting at home. It is not what you give that will save you, it is how much blessing are you willing to receive. It's there, waiting for you,don't turn it down. Let your light shine.

In everything you do, remember The Light lives in you, and you are a ray that has to shine. Too many people begin to dim their lights by living the routine of the world. Not everyone accepted Him, yet everyone is searching and yearning for that ultimate state of happiness and love. You are a reflection of that dream fulfilled. The enemy tries desperately to cover you up: steal your time, money, anger you...others can and will fall into that trap. But you can't. Let your light shine.

From a daughter's perspective...

In a recent conversation with a close group of friends, we somehow got on the subject of our parent’s parenting styles. What I’ve noticed throughout my own life and my parent’s approach to teaching the children in our family vs. lets say…parenting approaches in families of friends or relatives…is that there are many differences. This being such a broad topic, I’m just going to narrow this post to mainly one aspect of the difference in parenting styles or approaches among different families and the benefit of this.
Here’s a brief example of what I am trying to say:
For some reason, when there is some sort of a battle going on in my personal spiritual life, the circumstances around me almost always end up being the same or quite similar: there is an argument with parents/ misunderstandings among family members/ tension in the house/ etc…resulting in this atmosphere where I can’t turn to my parents for support or help in my spiritual battle because there is a battle of it’s own going on between me and a parent or parents. Going even further, since there is that tension present, I feel isolated and detached from the family, which in essence causes me to spend a lot of time by myself in my room or out of the house, just thinking about the situation, and praying…a lot. I would say these are the moments when my growth towards God skyrockets. (and please understand me correctly, I am not saying that there is a huge war going on at home with everyone’s wrath released at the same time, no no…what I mean is that like most families from time to time have misunderstandings, same with ours). Through these moments I find myself needing God more than ever because I feel alone. (tangent: that is why I love those moments (even though I hate them at the time) b/c even though I need God everyday in my life, tough times just reveal to me how much I really need Him and show me that when things are going good, God is in the background, not in the center where He needs to be). …okay, where was I, as I was saying, with the different parenting approaches, my parents I would say leave me alone to think things through and give me time. (eventually, time heals, and things go back to normal, etc.) My point is exactly this: my parents with their approach to parenting me, leave me alone…and as I mentioned in the beginning, at these times I am usually going through a spiritual battle or a difficult time in my personal life. Through being alone in prayer with God, and through HIS Word, God reveals so much to me and teaches me many lessons that help me fight the spiritual battle and strengthen my faith in Christ.
Now, sharing briefly some of the parenting approaches of my friends’ parents, some parents somehow know to ask questions, and not just questions, but somehow they know just the right time and just the right questions to ask, which in result end up helping that person out at the time they needed it most. (and we Christians know that those “somehow’s” are not just coincidences, but that those questions were God driven at the appropriate time to possibly save a soul from sinning). Other parents somehow know exactly when to come and have a soul chat with their child in the appropriate time, or know just when to lecture their children when it’s actually needed, etc… mine- they leave me alone.
Well, what my point was supposed to be, (sorry it stretched so long) relates to this quote by Desmond Tutu: “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them”.
I think that at times, especially times when we as children are mad at our parents or their approaches to parenting us, we begin to compare different parent’s approaches to our parent’s approach, and we complain. Well, the fact that we don’t choose our parents is one that lead me to this conclusion: God knew exactly what kind of an approach I would need in order for it to be effective, that is why my parents are who they are, and use the approach that they do in teaching me/ correcting me/ etc. ( I know this is WAY over generalizing about why my parents are my parents, and honestly, don’t even go there…another 10 page tangent, but in order to show my train of thought here, that’s the way I choose to word it. )
And as irritated as I can be at times at the approach my parents use, I know deep inside that it works…even though I may not like it, it does have an effect. (once again, clarification here- I’m not saying my parents are always right with their approach, “but we are all humans, and humans make mistakes” as my dad would say). And if my parents were to come and chat with me in a time when I’m going through battles and trials, I’m not saying that it wouldn’t help or have a positive effect, I’m just saying that leaving me alone through those times actually works even better because it gives me so much more time to straighten things out with my Heavenly Father, and strengthen that bond. My parents are a gift from God. They are here to care for me and guide me in becoming a Christian and a daughter that God wants to see. At times, their approach may seem wrong in my eyes (and I could write a whole book on what NOT to do when I’m a mom (I’m sorry, I just had to say that))…but overall, God knew what gift I would need in order to help me, not harm me. I am God’s gift to my parents. By far a not perfect gift! One that needs to be shaped and formed to be a better person. God’s gift to me is exactly what I need, and my parents with their approach- need someone like me who would deep inside understand their approach to parenting.


One last quick thought…as I was searching through the Bible for a verse that can go along with this post…I came upon one that I’ve read probably a hundred times before, (okay maybe not that many, ) and yet… “somehow” God revealed this same verse to me in a completely different way…a whole new way of looking at it… “ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother…” –Ephesians 6:1-2
…because no other parent I would obey like my own. May God Bless.

Christ Has Risen!!!

I am very excited to wish you all a Happy Easter and to exclaim "Christ has risen!" It's just a blessing to finally once again celebrate Easter and know that the reason for this season is Christ! As I am walking through a store aisle, I see store shelves half empty where the colorful easter bunnies and baskets once were. I do not see any mention or hint of Christ anywhere, but I do see beaming faces of children clutching stuffed bunnies and parents stocking up on Easter baskets. Christ has been moved out of the picture ...even though he made such a huge sacrifice for all mankind...people prefer to celebrate without Him. Jesus said to his Father, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34

Easter Joy
Jesus came to earth,

To show us how to live,

How to put others first,

How to love and how to give.
Then He set about His work,

That God sent Him to do;

He took our punishment on Himself;

He made us clean and new.
He could have saved Himself,

Calling angels from above,

But He chose to pay our price for sin;

He paid it out of love.
Our Lord died on Good Friday,

But the cross did not destroy

His resurrection on Easter morn

That fills our hearts with joy.
Now we know our earthly death,

Like His, is just a rest.

We'll be forever with Him

In heaven, where life is best.
So we live our lives for Jesus,

Think of Him in all we do.

Thank you Savior;

Thank you Lord.

Help us love like you!

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By Joanna Fuchs

God bless you all!

My Boss... and a pleasing conversation...ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH???

I have been blessed to call my Boss at work, my Brother in Christ. RecentlyI had a great discussion with Len about what I've been thinking about our church in particular...and so many other churches. Reflecting from the Bible, and trying to avoid "judgment" like fire, my concern in general was about who Christians are trying to please.

It seems to me as if there are two extremes: Either a family (church) is really focusing on one aspect of God, i.e: LOVE, and, by overlooking His other qualities, may underestimate Him.

For example, some churches will change their music to be more like mainstream, change their services to become more casual...even dress codes are now more relaxed (jeans/ T shirts) in some services...all to show that "God is Love, and He accepts you the way you are...He doesn't look on the outside, only into your heart. Come as you are..." but the Bible shows us that we must have a distinctive outwardly appearance as well (see Deut. 22:5, and 1Timothy 2:9)

Interesting that there are dress codes to come to court(out of obligation for all)....and a fancy dinner party( out of desire:for most who want to attend). ...But not when you come to the House of Prayer, the House of God(an obligation that should be desired). Hmmm.

The problem with seeing only one aspect of God is the risk of bringing the worldly ways into the church, making God conform to our comfort level, all in the name of His love.
Also, if looking from a different perspective, a person who longs to find a place of comfort, peace and love, when coming to church, will hope to find a significant difference between what he/she knows from the world, and what he/she will discover in church, this too includes music. The Bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today, and always. We worship the same God that Moses did, who, because of not fully following Gods direction, was banned from entering the Promised Land (see Numbers 20:6 and on.)
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Here's another extreme: seeing God only as the Almighty who is the one and only Righteous Judge. Fear the Lord. He is most High, Most Holy. He despises Sin. Nothing unholy will enter the Kingdom of God. All of these are true, however, approaching only in this way, the family (church) is risking to create a book of rules....a level of holiness needed to be reached to please God. And while members of the church will constantly feel a pressure to reach that "level" of 'holiness' by, for example, a) being on time to church b)Women wearing skirts no shorter than knee length c) Men not wearing baggy/untidy clothes... these are, of course, very vague examples of what my point is....I hope you get my drift. By not following the rule book of the church makes you a member who does not obey, a child of God who is disobedient to your leaders...if you cannot be faithful in the small things, God will not trust you in the bigger things...and so on. You need repentance because, obviously, you are a sinner. I believe this approach may lead to a church with members resembling the Pharisees: and Jesus did point out "The people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God. 8for you ignore God's law and substitute your own tradition." Mark 7:7-8 NLT

Let me just keep these thoughts open, and have your heart make a conclusion. I'd love to hear what your input is.

in closing I share what my Boss said:

So, nice discussion about being good enough for man and his institutions versus being good enough for God! Solomon was right...there's nothing new under the sun (not even in religious institutions...we just keep reinventing the same old thing over and over again with new names). Churches are important just so nothing ever comes between us and our Savoir! Our salvation is in Him and Him alone who sacrificed his blood, humility, and life for us. I'm glad He is God and could really do what He promised to do for us!
We are meant to live under the feedom of grace and not the bondage of legalism...just look @ John's letters. Important to not cause others to stumble though...
Agape my sister,
len

*(update 4/11)
The purpose of this post is to simply share my opinions about the two extreme approaches of and their effects on the church. Thank you for your inputs and critiques. Please feel free to add in your comment what you might find needs clarification...or anything you feel on the topic.
Blessings,

Are You a Fool?