Raking leaves....What's in it for me?

As I take a rake from the big bin of different gardening tools, I try to find an area with the most dried leaves/ dry grass/ that needs to be cleaned up, and I start to wobble from side to side. Going as slow as I possible can so that I can do the least amount of actual physical work, while appearing to be working- stretching the time so that I can get my two hours of volunteer work checked off. Moving probably at the rate of 2 feet/ 5-10 minutes, I find little distractions to slow me down even more. This is MY saturday. MY day off. Why should I be doing this when I could be doing so many other things at this given time on this beautiful early saturday morning- like sleeping in for example.

Because my little sister goes to this "Fine Arts/Music Charter School", it is mandatory to have so many hours of parent volunteer work every semester in order for the students to be able to graduate. Since my parents both volunteering still does not meet the required hours, I get to be the lucky one to pitch in a few hours as well.

As the feelings of frustration start to rise, the pride begins to build, I am too good for this. This kind of work is not for me. What do I get out of it? Like the school even cares that I am here to rake the dry leaves that fall from trees, which not to mention will fall down again in 5 minutes when the wind blows to an area where I just cleaned, and then another person will come up behind me and rake the same area once again to kill more time and get his hours checked off as well...How does this benefit me? By giving my hands blisters and my back sore muscles the next day? (which is what happens when you start doing physical labor work after not doing any at all in a while...practically) No one will know how good or bad I worked. No one will come to check my work. No one will thank me for my work, acknoledge it, correct it. No one will care. I'm here to work off the needed hours. period. there is nothing more to that.

....

I stop myself in the midst of such thoughts and try to shift my mind to thinking optimistically. This kind of work builds strenght. It gets my mind off things. It gives me time to think, to pray, to listen to my mp3 player (which in fact I was doing- listening to a sermon on a Bible Study lesson I had missed previously- which I had been meaning to listen to for months but found no time, untill now that is)...

I was thinking hard of a lesson I could learn and take away from this experience. There had to be more than just doing routine work for no purpose.

...As my two hours of volunteer work slowly come to an end, and I try to summarize the lesson I will take away from this, it starts to make sence. Beautiful. Now we're getting somewhere.

It was as if I had to be there that exact day, listening to that exact sermon, thinking those exact thoughts for the bigger picture to all come together. The truths that God continued to reveal to me convicted me, and showed me who I really was.

What a selfish heart I had...Not caring to do good work if I had no benefit from it, if it didn't somehow now or later bring me any good or profit, if it was just for the sole purpose of practicing doing good work without benefiting me- I didn't want to do it.

Selfish. Caring only for myself. prideful. thinking I was better. searching for self benefit in all I do, and if it didn't bring it- you could count me out of it.

...In the last 10 minutes of my time at the school, I think I did more work than I had the whole hour and 50 minutes I had been there. My soul was crying out to God both in repentance and in praises for showing me the condition I was in.

Throught my previous thoughts and actions, I was able to see the selfish being that I was. still am in some cases. Caring only for my own interest, my own benefits, my own selfish self...

Does not the Bible teach us to practice doing good work? Not to take that verse out of context here, but wasn't this a chance for me to practice doing good work even though no one was around to see it? Even though no one would thank me for it later? Even though I would personally not benefit a tiny bit from it?....

...Driving home, my heart was overflowing with joy at the fact that in such a short amount of time, (which by the way I could have spent just hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock 1o times untill I felt I was ready to get up)), God was at work in my heart- revealing to me the person I was and the person I needed to be.

...Praises to the Lord for teaching us the lessons that we need at appropriate times in our lives to shape our character and personality to what God wants to see...

~Blessings.